But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
