i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
