fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
