she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
