so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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