you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
