So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
