were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The adults are the big ones right?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
