You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
