So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
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