If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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