there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
