I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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