Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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