how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
