at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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