don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
