God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize