So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Welp...herpes.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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