I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
