I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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