That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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