I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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