I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
