Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
