So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
