what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
