He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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