People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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