Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
