God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
