My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize