Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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