Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
