I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
