Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
