I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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