Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
