Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
