come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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