My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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