no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want to have your abortion
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
