Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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