you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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