Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
