Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
