Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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