why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize