Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
