That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
