i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize