normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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