i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
