At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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