...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
