nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
