i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
