You really coming over, don't trick.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Boobs are out for the taking
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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