Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
