): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
