so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So. Much. Porn.
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